Nobody says I don't know

Okay. It was a long weekend and I was mortified by the thought of spending time alone with myself. Historically, long weekends have invariably aggravated my mental discomfort and confusion. Well, this one too fit the line so perfectly that it would have made a statistician jump with joy.

Three long days. My confused state of mind. A big fight with my mom, who always knows the best for me. This retired army chap I met (in fact, twice now) in an army mess, who had an answer for all my dilemmas. My broadband service provider who never goof-ups and put up a brave defense for not returning my deposit from three years back. All those egotistic intellectuals on telly who always know what is best for the society. Unsolicited telemarketers who not only sell personal loans but also tell you how you could best spend the money. Everyone seems to know what to say. On the other hand, I had no idea of what to write in my blog!

Boy, I can't help feeling like being in, umm, a kite festival or something, in which my kite is caught up in a tree from the very start and a bit torn etc while others' are smoothly enjoying their ride in the flowing breeze.

Need of a tiger in my life

There, it happened again! While I was sneaking (it was already close to noon) into my office yesterday, I bumped into a colleague of mine in the elevator, who casually chucked a "What's up, Deepak?", to my horror. Not that he meant to horrify me or anything. As a matter of fact, I know that he is quite a nice guy and all and probably popped the question as a nice, friendly gesture. But, as usual, I was clueless as to what to answer and did what I normally do - gave him my small-but-warm grin and kept quiet till his floor arrived. Well, have to admit that my blank face certainly saves the day for me in such tight spots, but, to be honest with you, I have been finding it increasingly troublesome, for a long time now, to deal with such seemingly innocuous questions from people. How are you, what's happening, how's life and et al. Do not remember when I last replied enthusiastically with a fantastic or lovely or something like that.

Anyway, it made me sad and boomeranged, to me, the same haunting question. Why do I have this feeling of ennui towards life? Wish I knew any swell this time around. I couldn't seem to recollect anything, in past five-six years, that might have imparted me a real sense of excitement in life. The more I think about it, I realize that left to myself it may get worse.

Sometimes, I feel my problem is I don't have a problem in life. How? Few years back I read "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel. It is a story of a kid and how he manages to survive twenty-something days in the Atlantic when his ship gets wrecked and all. All because of a tiger who gets onboard with him on his lifeboat. Fending off the tiger and saving himself, he is oblivious of other perils of his situation and survives. I think, a tiger might help me too.

Ah, but what can be that tiger for me? I don't know. A friend suggested marriage. Well, tiger I may certainly get but, survive I may not!

Moving up the google ranking

I know, I know! You are right. This is not only totally inappropriate but also plainly stupid of me to think, er write, about this with only one post (rather, non-post) behind me. But, to tell you the truth, could not help it. To think about how and where the internet messiah - google - threw up my blog. Well, obsess might as well be a better fit here than think. But again, I think it's understandable, would n't you agree? Everyone wants to be high up on google list. In this age, google ranking would probably be the most accurate barometer of an individual's or thing's popularity. You are not in the google world, you are not in this world, so to speak. And I had a lot of catching up to do since I woke up to this half past one in the noon.

I immediately decided to bell my curiosity cat and googled a variety of combinations to find out where mine figured in the list. And boy, was I disappointed? Like a five-year old. Yes, you know! Well, the fact was my blog was nowhere to be found in google's first 20 pages. No combination worked! Except, my entire blog name, of course. Normally, I am quite lazy a bottom to be bothered about such a thing. But, this time it felt different and I picked up the gauntlet to move up the google rank.

I swung into a frenzy of action, shamelessly calling up on my friends and colleagues to hit my blog. Have to say they were nice about it, considering that they had no reason to share my newly-found enthusiasm. Then, I also asked some of my blogger friends to link my blog from their online endeavors. A quid pro quo deal, of course. Did you not notice the two extra links to your right here? See everyone is google conscious.

Well, my actions so far have not really yielded much, to say. But, I do hope I am up there soon. Only time will tell.

Best.

A blog about NOTHING!

Well, hello.

Did n't think would be back? Not so soon at least. Actually, ideating on my quandary about what should my blog be about, I had this quite not-too-bad idea for an answer. A blog about NOTHING. NOTHING. Big word. Would n't you say?

But, upfront let me make it clear. The credit for inspiration for such a theme for my blog does not go to the myriad philosophical and mathematical connotations of the word, but, goes to the theme of the eponymous sitcom by Jerry Seinfeld - A show about NOTHING, of course. No theme, no pretensions, one simple show. Also, I have to admit here that writing about SOMETHING is beyond me.

However, on delving deeper into my theme though, I realized it may not be easy at all to write about nothing. You see? One could say nothing does not exist in reality. It has to take shape of something. Therefore, although I am freed by the fact that I do not have to write about any thing in particular, I still have to be able to fill up a page everytime I publish. And this is so much more complicated by the fact that my mortal limits of understanding, in any area, have virtually not moved too far at all since the age of five despite the sincere efforts of my parents, teachers, friends and everyone.

So, to cut to the chase, my quandary continues...

Until next.

Don't know what I am doing

Dear Friends,

Well, after much deliberation, I have my own blog now! But, the moot question, that was responsible for so much deliberation (two-three years, so to speak) still prevails. What am I going to post here? I don't know and honestly, can't think of anything. However, I do hope to get some clue, to at least, not pile upon me the shame of starting a blog and being ejected out for not posting anything.

So long!

PS: You may have already spotted probably how blank Iam with this first post of mine. Let's see my next one.